Happy Danes

Sharmi Albrechtsen

Albrechtsen is an American journalist living in Denmark writing about the Danish Happiness phenomenon. Interestíng perspectives and comments from this Blog will be incorporated in her new book, Investigating Danish Happiness. Check out her new website www.happydenmark.com or email her on sharmiindenmark@gmail.com

Tusind Tak (a thousand thanks), Happy Danes

Last month, I was interviewed on Oprah Winfrey’s show. It was one of the most thrilling days ever. The show that I participated in was called LifeClass and is on her network OWN, the topic was gratitide. (See my interview…. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L28l3bnIYks)

The topic hit home in many respects as in Denmark, there are several ways to express gratitude and say you are thankful: Tusind tak (a thousand thanks). Mange tak (many thanks). Tak for sidst (thanks for our last time), etc.

It’s funny since in Danish, we don’t even have a word for ‘please’, but gratitude and thankfulness is very important in everyday language and may provide an insight into why the Danes are so happy.

When you first learn to speak Danish, you realize how important gratitude plays into life and conversation here. Every day after dinner, most kids are expected to give ‘thanks’ (tak for mad) to their parents for making and providing dinner. Indeed, my daughter, a tweenager, expresses gratitude several times a day, in a very natural and authentic way – to the bus driver, to her teachers, to her classmates.

I have always felt that the word ‘thanks’ seemed disingenuous and insincere – but since I moved to Denmark and started seeing how it was integrated in nearly all conversations, I began to start using it myself also in English and feeling really good about it. Part of this could be the good karma that is created by filling my mind with thanks for all the wonderful things I have in my life so it opens the door for even more good things to come.

When you speak to Danes they are genuinely grateful their health, home, family, sports and their jobs. People are so grateful for a sunny day, a freshly baked rugbrød or an invitation for a walk in the forest.

Even little things like collecting the minuscule Spring wildflowers called Vintergækken brings joy to Danes. These ever so tiny flowers (sprout up in the cold, miserable weather) are gathered, dried and sent with a riddle from an anonymous sender – if you guess the sender, you shall thank them with a chocolate egg for Easter.

In my diary, I try to write a list daily of the small things that I too, am grateful for — starting from the small things: bit boring…I really liked my breakfast tea to… wow, I recently got a promotion and a pay raise.

Numerous studies suggest that grateful people are more likely to have higher levels of happiness and lower levels of stress and depression. Grateful people have more positive ways of coping with the difficulties they experience in life, being more likely to seek support from other people, reinterpreted and grow from the experience, and spend more time planning how to deal with the problem.

Indeed gratitude has been said to have one of the strongest links with mental health than any other character trait.
Studies also find that gratitude is correlates with economic generosity, which works quite well with the large tax state in Denmark. Thankful people are more likely to sacrifice individual gains for communal benfit supporting that Danes have immense gratitude, have empathy and are generous with their income to help others in the samfund (welfare state).

So what can you do, besides give thanks numerous times a day? Think about things that you are grateful about – a person who has touched your life, write a thank you letter BY HAND, make a gratitude jar where you deposit a post-it note with a thankful message every day or week and then open and read it on a rainy or depressed day.

‘’Gratitude is not only the greatest of the virtues but the parent of all others.”

By Sharmi Albrechtsen • May 10, 2012
Categories: gratitude
14 Comments

Happy Danes, Yes, but Sometimes Unfriendly at First…..

Last week, I hosted some friends from the UK. While we were lunching at the MASH (Modern American Steak House) in Charlottenlund, they couldn’t help but notice that our waiters were unfriendly and a bit stone faced as we tried to charm them with our wit and cheerful smiles.

My foreign friends flippedly commented, ‘hmm, these Danes don’t seem very happy,’ and of course that was my invitation to try to explain this strange paradox. When one visits the country of the happiest people of the world, one cannot assume that happiness is interconnected with friendliness.

Indeed Denmark has been criticized as being one of the most foreigner unfriendly countries in the world.

Recent studies on expatriates to Denmark by the Oxford research group, 71 per cent of the foreigners who believed they would stay more than three years, did not stay (many actually left earlier). And the study showed that Danes’ unfriendliness and lack of welcoming behavior was a factor.

As most of my readers know, I straddle two worlds – my American heritage, friends, family and expats and the Danish culture that I have now become a part of through my husband and daughter and our Danish friends and family.

The reserved nature of the Danes takes some getting used to. I have the most extreme example of how cultural friendliness differs from country to country.

During a spinning class that I took while on a business trip in Chicago: I arrived ten minutes early and by the end of the class, everyone in the class including the instructor– knew my name, how long I was staying, where I was from and whether I enjoyed living in Denmark.

Now I have been going to the same gym and spinning class in my Danish neighborhood for about 6 years and no one knows my name! Even more ludicrous, I attended a girl’s night dinner party and was sitting next to the instructor of my spinning class. I casually mentioned that I really liked her class the day before and she looked at me puzzled, like who are you?

I thought my head was going to explode … ‘How many Indian looking women take your spin class every week and are in the front row?!!’

Let’s just say that the Danes are a reserved bunch and even when I have wowed them with my fantastic, heavily accented Danish, it took years of hard work to make them friends.

That said, I have also made faux pas mistakes along the way….my first Christmas in Denmark in my new home, I was determined to befriend my neighbors and invite them for a Christmas Open house party. 10 years later, I now know that was a ‘no-no’ – Christmas (all of December) is a sacred time for ones selected family and friends and is not a time where you want to congregate with strangers…So, you guessed it, only one couple came to my party.

Unfortunately my overzealousness scared off the other Danish neighbors, (who began to think of me as an over friendly, inappropriate and possibly annoying pest) and I never got to know any of them…. Because they quickly moved to the other side of the street when I passed by or pretended not to see me at all.

One of my best Danish girlfriends now, I had invited she and her husband to my home for fabulous home cooked dinners for 2 years straight before I received an invitation back to her place. But I was determined to win her over and now ten years later, I am considered a close friend (but still cannot be compared to friends she has had for over 20 years….)

I think that some of this has to do with the Jante Loven. The law of jante says, new, exciting fresh off the boat strangers are not necessarily welcomed here. Many Danes stick to small a network of close friends and family. It is not uncommon to not have more than 5-8 families that Danes see on a regular basis.

According to the laws of Jante, a strange new person should not expect any excitement from the locals about your arrival. Indeed, the first thing ‘the stranger’ should do is act like the natives, blend in – learn the language, dress, eat and act like a Dane. That is your key for survival and acceptance.

Another one of my good friends is from England, we will call her Miss M. After more than 15 years in Denmark, she has not learned her lessons about Danes and how to cultivate friendships. She still sadly anticipates a return invitation every time she hosts someone. I encourage her to keep trying but alas she gives up quickly thinking another Dane will be different.

But Danes do not feel obligated to return a dinner invitation, they normally have brought you a hostess gift and send you an SMS, the day after with a Tak for sidst (thanks for last night) and then they will disappear into oblivion until you invite them again.

Breaking through the friendship barrier takes hard work and determination but the rewards are great. Once you have a Danish friend, you have a friend for life. If you have a problem, they will come to your rescue and will be there for you in thick and thin. They can be the warmest and kindest people you know….giving and helpful.

Give it a try, make a new Danish friend this year…I dare you.

By Sharmi Albrechtsen • March 31, 2012

15 Comments

Winter Bathing with the Happy Danes

Recently I have been experiencing some bouts of restlessness and crankiness. Normally, I would blame the crap weather and winter for this, but for someone who spends her free time investigating Danish happiness, it is important for me to understand why and try to change it. While I am aware about why people in Denmark are happy (and I could be too if I changed my attititude!), sometimes it can be difficult to make steps towards a change even if they rewards are great – like eternal happiness and contentment.

The root of my ‘so-called’ depression is my constant need for improvement, change, gain. While in some ways, these traits make me an excellent manager and a very ambitious employee, it can also lead me to unhappiness, despair and a feeling of powerlessness when things do not move in my favor. As my Danish coach clearly pointed out, my need for constant approval, makes me a insatiable hungry dog. Each time, I get a bone, I quickly devour it and beg for more.

She suggested that I start practicing mindfulness.

When I started looking into it, mindfulness is already readily present in Danish culture, although the concept is based in Buddhist philosophy. Mindfulness is about the present, living in the present and enjoying and experiencing the moment like right now. It is about concentrating your thoughts about the mundane part of your day – eating, drinking a tea, walking, jogging…

Danes love to talk about their exercising – ‘I had the best run, blah, blah’ – I cycled 30 kilometers in the wind and rain and loved it, blah, blah blah’ . For me exercising is just a form of daily grooming – something you must do in order for your body not to fall apart – it’s like brushing your teeth, trimming your nails. I could just imagine telling my colleagues about the fantastic and very long teeth brushing I did that morning : You know I really got down deep into my molars with my electric toothbrush, gave myself a gum massage to top it off in warm salt water. It felt sooo good.’

But sarcasm, aside, maybe these Danes have a point. Unlike with the hygge concept, where one specifically creates ‘cozy’ moments….Danish mindfulness is not labelled or described but it is part of everyday life here.

Danish design may also play a part too. For many years, I never understood why Danes would covet a designer salt shaker. This Christmas, I received a Georg Jensen salt shaker as a present. It is a beautiful piece of art, stainless steel, it sits beautifully on the table and it sits well in your hands.

But each time I use it, I don’t necessarily pay attention to the experience. Should it be an experience to shake salt on your food?

Since the everyday mindfulness did not appeal to me (drink a tea without sugar?, PLEAAASE), I decided to do something kind of crazy- like extreme mindfulness. I tried Nordic winter bathing. Winter bathing is really popular here (The Charlottenlund winter bathers club has a seriously long waiting list) and according to some devout practitioners, it is a way of truly healthy mindful living.

So last weekend, in the subzero cold, I threw myself into the ocean. Literally for like 2 seconds.

Within moments I started to think of myself as a practitioner of mindless ‘ness’ when suddenly my foot went completely numb and started throbbing like crazy. God, was this my insane way to find happiness and contentment… what was I doing? I really started to panic, as I froze still in the water, paralyzed.

As I made my way to the edge of the water to my bathrobe, crawled feverishly to my car, I eventually sat in a warm car with the heat on full blast. I began to start really appreciate everything around me…anything was better than the freezing icy water….Jesus, sitting in the car was a dream.

I am not sure whether I have the guts to continue winter bathing, albeit, the amazing effects of it. You really appreciate the basics in life (like clothes), after nearly dying of hypothermia in the dark ocean.

If I am honest I am scared of mindfulness, I am afraid that I will lose my edge. I am not ready to just be content with my here and now. I want more, I want change, I want my MTV.

By Sharmi Albrechtsen • February 22, 2012

7 Comments

Serendipity – finding happiness accidently in the forests of Denmark

One of the most curious Danish phenomenons I have ever experienced here is the ‘group party walk’. A few weeks ago, I attended a semi-formal baby christening party in the nearby deerpark in Klampenborg.

It is pretty windy and cold here in January, and I was looking forward to warming my legs at the open fireplace at the restaurant after the church ceremony when the hostess declared that we would all be taking a ‘group walk’ in the forest before the welcome drinks. Now I was wearing a short dress, pantyhose and a pair of Christian Louboutin high heeled pumps…ERRGG.

I was secretly beginning to panic when the ever trusty DH (danish husband), reminded me that he brought my hiking boots in the car (just in case). Nearly all 50 guests put on their coats and we walked out together for a refreshing 1 hour tour in the natural surroundings.

Even after all these years, I just never know when a serendipitous ‘walk’ will creep up behind me, take me by surprise and I end up somewhere in the forest, beach, gravel, sandpit, lake, without a proper coat or footwear. And these days when the wind is blistering cold, I think adding a full face ski mask should also be added to the survival kit.

I will never forget the spur of the moment canoe trip that I ended on after a summer picnic…. where I ruined a pair of gorgeous sandals because the bank that our canoe drifted on was actually quickmud and the moment I left the boat, I sunk knee deep into the ground.

The other day I stumbled upon a quote about walking from the Danish philosopher
Søren Kierkegaard : “Above all, do not lose your desire to walk: every day I walk myself into a state of well-being and walk away from every illness; I have walked myself into my best thoughts, and I know of no thought so burdensome that one cannot walk away from it…”.

Walking is not part of my American culture, many neighborhoods do not have sidewalks, we have our own phenomenon called ‘shopping mall walks’ (seriously strange) and a walk in the forest is called a ‘hike’ and usually not done in party shoes….

That said, it is probably one of my favorite customs in Denmark and it has really changed my point of view about the simple pleasures of walking. It is actually a great way of socializing with friends and many of my Danish buddies and I meet in the forest, take a walk/chat, spot a few deer, perhaps grab a café latte – all year round.

Next fall, I plan to do a bit of mushroom hunting during a walk with my in-laws and they promise to make sure I don’t die by eating poisonous fungi. (Which is very necessary, since apparently the really delicious looking ones are fatal.)

I think it is the importance of fresh air, light exercise, taking in the outdoors and even experiencing different seasons that makes walking an important element contributing to Danish happiness. According to research in the journal Environmental Health and Technology, exercising in natural areas is not only good for your physical health—it can improve your mood and sense of well-being.

I encourage you to try it…yes even in the freezing rain – take your ski mask!. As the Danes say, it is not about the bad weather – it is about the right clothes for the weather.

By Sharmi Albrechtsen • January 28, 2012

3 Comments

My Big, Fat ‘Happy’ Danish Christmas

It is only the first week of December and I already feel the stress of a BIG Danish Christmas. My daughter this year has reminded me that instead of the traditional Danish calendar gift wall, which normally required me to find 24 very small, creative, high quality, individually wrapped (but still inexpensive) gifts NOW that she is older …. I still need to provide her with an advent gift every Sunday.

And I am already 2 gifts behind! Bloody. Hell.

It is with mixed feelings that I write this because on one hand, I love Danish Christmas, it literally takes up the whole month with activities, baking, decorating, parties, socializing and of course, HYGGE. This is important because it now gets dark here around 4pm and if you weren’t busy with Christmas ‘whohas’ then you would probably go straight to bed.

To add my misery, I will be coerced into another Danish ‘cabin’ this year. Even though my parents are Hindu, since I was Christian and went to midnight mass. I grew up with my own special Christmas traditions. We celebrated Christmas with a formal dinner – dressed up in fine clothes and had a nice meal with Royal Albert porcelain, crystal candelabras, fresh roses on the table, etc.

My happy Danish family, well, they are definitely more casual. As my work colleague put it, Danes are perpetually relaxed….so its jeans, long sleeve t-shirts and a duck on the bar-b for me this year. While the great barbeque on the 24th will get me through the evening (try to forget the need for linen napkins), I guess my worst torture will be the Danish Christmas lunch (Julefrøkost) afterwards.

This is my yearly run through the Danish culinary gauntlet, as strange food concoctions are forced on me for hours and where it becomes apparently obvious that I am not a happy Dane. I guess I provide an annual giggle to my Danish in-laws as they pass me dishes that I cannot pronounce, would never be able to cook nor can force myself eat.

Seriously? Smoked eel, 5 different kinds of herring, piping hot liverwurst pate, pickled pigs head(and feet), a pot of freshly made lard…plus a nasty and stinky cheese that is nicknamed ’grandpa Ole’. Is guess because it smelled like him? Luckily, Danish kids are not daring when it comes to julefrøkost, so we share a plate of Danish meatballs and call it a day. I normally wash it down with a glass of snapps which has a similar taste to (what I think) gasoline would taste like…

In the spirit of my Christmas rebellion, I decided to ‘mess’ around with some of the traditional Danish Christmas recipes. I have already created a new family favorite warm æbelskiver stuffed with ice cream and served with raspberry coulis- I call it æbelscoop. Normally these pancake balls are served fresh from the oven with a dusting of powdered sugar and some jam, but my new creation allows me to serve as a dessert rather than an afternoon snack. Haha!

In addition, in my struggle to embrace other Danish x-mas traditions, this year I will try to make and preserve Danish paper Christmas ornaments. These ‘decorations’ were always a mystery to me – the paper ornament (!?)….To me an ornament is glass or wooden so that it survives storage, year after year. But my Danish paper ornaments even after my best effort always look a bit smashed, dirty and faded and even torn. How do the Danes do it?

By Sharmi Albrechtsen • December 6, 2011

23 Comments

Mirror, mirror on the wall: are the Happy Danes, the most beautiful of them all?

Does beauty lead to happiness? And could that be a reason that Danes are happier? Walking down the streets of Copenhagen it is hard not to notice that people are objectively better looking (tall, athletic/slim with good features and blonde hair) compared to other countries.

Visitors to Denmark almost always remarks about the ‘good looks’ of the Danes both men and women. Our recently elected prime minister, Helle Thorning-Schmidt is petite, blonde and very stylish and there have been suggestions that she received considerably more media coverage than her adversaries because of her ‘photogenetics’.

But my suspicions that Danes are top of the beauty food chain are now also supported by recent evidence from the BeautifulPeople.com website. The site which started in Denmark 2002, last month launched globally to provide good looking people world-wide a dating site just for them. Apparently, the site rejected nearly 1.8 million unattractive people from 190 countries in its first 2 weeks of launch.

From the total number of hopefuls, only 360,000 new members have been admitted. Interestingly, the Scandinavians monopolized the top spots with the most successful applicants from Sweden, Denmark, Norway and applicants from Germany and the UK among the least successful.

Indeed the highest ‘hit’ rates came from Norwegian women (76 percent approval ratings), Swedish men (65 percent) and Danish men (40 percent) who were easily accepted in. For some reason, the ratings for Danish women were not available…strange! Since I am confident they would fair well.

To become a member of the dating site, applicants are required to be voted in by existing members of the opposite sex. According to the creators of the website, ‘the vote is fair and democratic’. In addition, the website says they (BeautifulPeople) do not define beauty it simply gives an accurate representation of what society’s ideal of beauty is as decided by the members.

OK, let’s just say that for arguments sake, the Danes are a better looking lot. Is beauty the path to their happiness?

There are numerous theories on the matter…Experts say that there is a ‘Beauty is a joy forever’ concept—that
beautiful people have advantages throughout their life. Good looking people have an easier time developing social skills, getting an education, finding the right jobs and good looking mates for that matter.

There are even studies to suggest that attractive people make more money. Daniel Hamermesh, an American economics professor at the University of Texas in Austin, measures out the benefits in his book, “Beauty Pays: Why Attractive People Are More Successful.”

According to his research, attractive people are likely to earn an average of 3% to 4% more than a person with below-average looks. That adds up to $230,000 more over a lifetime for the typical good-looking person, Dr. Hamermesh estimates. Even an average-looking worker is likely to make $140,000 more over a lifetime than an ugly worker. But again all of this research supports the beauty lives forever concept.

On the other hand, there are those that believe that beauty is short lived like a fading rose…. This is made famous by the vain and
evil queen in the story of Snow White, whose beauty is ravaged by time and it causes her to become bitter, miserable and sadly jelous of her step daughter, Snow White. Some studies have also shown that beautiful people in their youth, relied on good looks and when those looks faded with time are left with little. Opportunities dry up, relationships fail…..(Kirkpatrick and Cottin, 1951).

And lastly, there is a third train of thought that says beautiful, average, or ugly – it’s all about expectations…Those people who have never only known high rewards in life will take it for granted and those with less would be happy with less but still afterwards would want more….much like my idea of a ‘happiness stairmaster’ – the more we achieve it, the more we want. (Hatfield and Sprecher)
These people conclude that everyone regardless of their looks ends up being happy half of the time and miserable the rest.  Interesting…..

By Sharmi Albrechtsen • November 16, 2011

6 Comments

Trust Me, You’re in Denmark

Earlier this month I was interviewed on the German/French TV network ARTE about my book and blog. The journalists focused on comparing the most unhappy country in Europe, Hungary and the most happy, Denmark, of course and wanted to see if they could find out why….http://videos.arte.tv/de/videos/_die_un_gluecklichsten_europaeer_-4125430.html

While my interview focused mostly on why I believe the Danes are so happy and a fun but slightly superficial demonstration of ‘hygge’ — a question off camera came up about trust. For those of us who live here, trust is an accepted virtue. Denmark is much like an idyllic small town American Mayberry, where doors are unlocked, real phone numbers are listed in the phone book and corruption is the exception not the rule.

American business columnist, Erika Andersen recently wrote an article in Forbes, where she mentioned her recent visit to Denmark and her surprising encounter with Danish trust. She and her family were allowed to ride horses on the beach before paying for them, as the stableman trusted that they would reimburse him afterwards. http://www.forbes.com/sites/erikaandersen/2011/06/28/happy-in-denmark-how-come/

When you live here – that’s nothing!

A quintessential sight in Denmark are babies left to sleep outside in their baby carriages on city sidewalks in the snow and rain while their parents are inside a café drinking café lattes or even shopping. I will never forget the day my wallet went missing at the gym and the police refused to believe that it could have been stolen! It must be lost, they assuredly said to me, as they handed me a lost item form, confident that it would show up. (it did)

According to the 1995-1997 World Value Survey, an amazing 64 percent of Danes believe that ‘most people can be trusted’ which is 3 times the world average…

Data suggests that generous social welfare states (those in Nordics) which usually have very low levels of corruption experience a knock-on effect to trust in society, government and is linked to high levels of happiness and social well being. In addition, and I think this is very interesting…in countries where trust was high for politicians, police and other public officials meant that people also, used a blanket approach that strangers and others could also be trusted as well.

Researchers have been puzzled though by how this happens…which came first? Trusting people create a welfare state (chicken) or a welfare state creates trusting people (egg)? Experts have not been able to make conclusions about this.

What we do know is that countries with smaller welfare systems tend to be higher on corruption, have lower levels of social trust and lower levels of social well-being, which may explain the unhappiness in Hungary.

Concerning the public sphere, there is a moderate sense of community and civic participation in Hungary. Voter turnout, a measure of public trust in government and of citizens’ participation in the political process, was 64% during recent elections; this figure is also lower than the OECD average of 72% and nearly 90 percent in Denmark. In regards to crime, 4% of people reported falling victim to assault over the previous 12 months.

When asked, 23% of people in Hungary said they were satisfied with their life, much lower than the OECD average of 59%.

The saddest fact was that only 89% of Hungarian people believe that they know someone they could rely on or trust in a time of need.

At the end of her article, Erika asks for ideas on how to increase trust in business life in America. Since the government model there is so different, it seems like an insurmountable task. Currently, in the US, there is a major turmoil about the debt crisis and trust in politicians and public officials are very low. The fast growing teaparty movement there works against welfare state, thereby creating distrust in the government.

By Sharmi Albrechtsen • September 28, 2011

25 Comments

Natural Born Riders: Danish Bicycle Culture and Happiness

I have a confession: I can’t ride a bike. In Denmark this is really embarrassing, since in Copenhagen, one person in three commutes by bike to work or school every day.

In my defense for this crime and (my other crime of being a driver of a car in Denmark) – I have to say that in the US, we do not have a bicycle culture, many kids do not ride
bikes, there are few to no bike paths in most neighborhoods and we were happy if we had a sidewalk we could walk on. (While drivers whizzed by with a quick look of pity- since people who walked were normally considered homeless).

On the other hand, Danes are active cyclists, often using their bikes to commute to work or to go off on trips at the weekend. And cycling is generally perceived as a healthy, environmentally
friendly, cheaper and often quicker way around town than by public transport or car and it is therefore municipal policy for the number of commuters by bike to go up to 40% by 2012 and 50% by 2015^.

OK, but what does this have to do with the Laws of Jante and Danish Happiness?

I have a suspicion that the Danish cycling culture may have a double whammy effect – cycling and exercise in general promotes good health and happiness and as a nice side effect – it helps reduce envy (most people don’t consider their bicycle as a status symbol) and promotes equality as nearly everyone (besides me) can own and ride a bike.

Cycling, Sports and Exercise

There has been some research on the link between sports participation, exercise and happiness. For example, experiments comparing American and Italian teens showed that people
tended to be happiest when engaging in sports and games. (Csikszentmihalyi and Wong 1991).

There is also significant literature about physical activity, endorphins and a positive effective on mental wellbeing. Fox (1999) found that exercise improves mental well-being through improved mood and self-perception and is an effective treatment for clinical depression and anxiety.

While we all know this is the case, I think what is the most interesting in the way that the Danish governmental systems support this.

Being a car owner is like being a cross between vermin and a dairy cow – it’s really not cool to drive and it comes with a huge tax burden with nearly 200 percent taxes on the car itself, road tax and gas tax.

Compare that to our cycling friends who are blessed with a tiny sales tax on the bike, no extra bike path tax and of course, no gas tax!

Again, it is here that perhaps the the laws of jante works again. The laws of jante say ‘Don’t fancy yourself as being better than us’ – ie. Don’t drive your Ferrari here!

More than Cycling

In the US, the typical question after you are introduced to someone at a party is ‘what do you do?’ but here it is ‘what sports do you do?.’ This is quite a safe topic since thanks to a generous social welfare system, there are a lot of people ‘who don’t do anything.’

But the sports topic is endless, at any dinner party, airport or café, you can always find a Dane talking about their sports/exercise/routines. They swim, play handball, softball, mountain bike, cycle, sail, play tennis, badminton, ice hockey, and golf and they do it well.

No surprise, where almost two million Danes actively engage in association sports, corresponding to about 40% of the Danish population.

While no research has been done to correlate bicycle riding, sports and exercise with societal subjective well being or happiness, I would be surprised if there was not a link. Let’s hope one of the happiness scientists look into it, Buddha did:

To keep the body in good health is a duty… otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear. ~Buddha

By Sharmi Albrechtsen • August 22, 2011

4 Comments

Happy? What about Unhappy in Denmark?

For readers of my blog, you have probably noticed that I have not written for about 6 months. I apologize for that, numerous circumstances including travels to Australia and the US (4 times) and my new job promotion has kept me totally busy and quite honestly kept me away from my blog project and book.

For the last 2 months however, I have been somehow gotten off track and been attracting, sowing and harvesting some totally bad karma, for example:… my car got scratched up, my newly renovated bathroom became infested with flying ants! (really gross), I had a major fallout with an old friend and am no longer speaking to her…The list goes on and on.

In addition, the recent changes in Danish immigration law has created many unhappy foreigners in Denmark and I have been receiving letters from my Blog fans about this. One person wrote:

‘I would LOVE to talk to you about Denmark and its allegedly happy people….My (American) girlfriend and I have traveled back and forth between US and Denmark for the last 4 years every other month as the laws dictate. We can tell you a LOT about NOT so happy aspects of living in Denmark when you are not member of the elite.’

Because I wasn’t thinking or writing about happiness, I wasn’t attracting it either. As I became focused on my daily life and ambitions, I lost focus on what makes me or other people happy. Instead, I was focusing on what was not making me happy – what was wrong with everything and everyone, criticizing, analyzing, hyper-analyzing with the idea that it will make it better. It’s a slippery slope that is easy to fall into.

This unfortunately is the plague of many expats in Denmark. I can surely emphasize with them: that it is really difficult to integrate in Denmark, the immigration laws are strict, speaking the language as a foreigner can make you feel like a circus clown, stuff is very expensive (don’t get me started on taxes) and the endless days of grey weather can sometimes drive you insane especially after 3 weeks in Australia.

But I began to realize that negative emotions unfortunately take a huge place in our mindsets and positive ones sometimes take a backseat. For example, we have an incredible vocabulary to describe unhappiness – depression, melancholy, fear, gloom, annoyance, anguish, disturbance, regret, stress, sorrow, sadness, (I’ve got plenty more)

And it is always easy to find comrades to commiserate in using this immense vocabulary. How many countless conversations do I hear of people complaining about kids, husband, boss, etc.? If you have a problem, it’s always easy to find someone, talk and bitch it out. But it’s rare that you felt better after the conversation, instead many times I feel empty and exhausted.

In addition, some of our heroes in books, film and television are intelligent, negative, mean persons who people ‘learn’ to like? House, for example, a bitter but ingenious doctor that spits aggressive one-liners on his colleagues and patients is the popular and main character? When I was a news journalist, (many years ago), the negative stories were always the most popular and the ones that hit the front page.

And while we seek happiness, there are so few words to describe the concept and we rarely use them. I can’t remember the last time I used the words bliss or joy in everyday conversation.

A worried friend sat me down yesterday and made me watch a video based on the book called The Secret. While some of the film was a bit corny, I think the overall message was clear, you get what you attract. Was I attracting problems and negativity? Was I sending a unintelligible message to ants to come and attack my home?

Were Danes better at ‘the secret’ because they are better at realistic thinking?

Research by Kaare Christensen supports this, he writes: it has been argued that great expectations of favourable life circumstances in the future should be associated with life satisfaction but if the expectations are unrealistically high they could also be the basis of disappointment and low life satisfaction. The Eurobarometer data on expectations go back to 1980 and show that while Danes are very satisfied, their expectations for the coming year are rather low, ranking among the bottom half.

As I was complaining about the level of academic teaching in Danish public school, a colleague said to me ‘well, I guess it’s all about your ambitions’. Were my ambitions making me frustrated and less happy?

I will investigate and get back to you on that front J

By Sharmi Albrechtsen • July 22, 2011

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Bringing Home the Danish Bacon – taxation and happiness

A good friend recently brought home a suitcase full of Danish bacon from her trip to England this Christmas. This was no ordinary bacon but back bacon prepared from Danish boneless pork loin.

She brought it back because for some reason it was cheaper to buy Danish bacon in the UK than it is in Denmark. Those of us who have lived anywhere outside of Scandinavia or Japan know that Denmark is probably one of the most expensive places in the world to live. All food starts with a 25 percent VAT charge and last year the government imposed a larger tax burden on sodas that makes buying beer cheaper than buying a Coke. I always have to cringe a little when I see that butter imported all the way from New Zealand is half the price of Danish Lurpack butter.

While the prices are high, most of us who live here just pretend that we live in a closed market society. But this time, I was really surprised at the level of complaining my friend and her husband did. How fair can it be that our own Danish products are cheaper abroad? They moaned.

The Danish tax burden is one of the most heated areas of politics that you can discuss here and honestly writing about it is like trying to eat an elephant at one sitting. With income tax averaging from 50 to 68 percent, car taxes more than 180 percent and a stiff 25 VAT (value added tax) added to all purchases – it can be sometimes difficult to bring home any bacon.

How can it be that with such a heavy tax burden, people can be so happy?!

Most people in Denmark, which boasts some of the world’s highest taxes, think their tax rate is appropriate and more than one in 10 think they don’t pay enough.

The Greens Analyseinstitut survey, published in the financial daily Boersen, indicated that a full 66 percent of Danes agree with their level of taxation, while only 20 percent think taxes are too high.

Many Danes seem satisfied that they are getting their money’s worth–that is, they enjoy tangible benefits of the taxes they pay in terms of universal health care, tuition-free education through the university level, and employment benefits and security. The only way I would feel that I have recieved proper compensation for more than 10 years of Danish taxation is if I had 5 children who were all planning on going to medical school.

Recently at a dinner party, the host’s twelve year old son gave me a short lecture of the importance of the Danish ‘samfund’ ie. society and the role that taxes play in Denmark.

The irony is that this boy has never paid tax. I therefore challenged him with this example:

Tomorrow, I will hire you to do 4 hours of garden work for 100 DKK per hour.

After I have paid you, you will pay half of it in tax.

And it will go to the kids playing next door who were ‘un’fortunate enough not to have to work.

But as another Dane pointed out, while people here say they happily pay their taxes, they are also the biggest users of ‘sort’ or untaxed labor.

If my evil twin, Charmin starts talking to a Dane about the paradox between happily paying your taxes and then using untaxed workers (for cleaners, babysitters, handymen). She normally gets a dirty look that says ‘ why are you asking me about my genital herpes?’.

Danes buy moonlighting hours for up to 50 billion kroner a year, and according to the Rockwool Foundation Research Unit more than every other Dane used ‘moonlighting’ services last year.

This gigantic secret ‘untaxed’ economy should be considered when discussing happiness and paying taxes. Quite honestly, unlike what Oprah concluded in her show last…I don’t think that living in a high tax, socialist system (and enjoying the perks that it buys) is the answer to finding and keeping happiness.

By Sharmi Albrechtsen • January 19, 2011

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