Dear UCN’ers!

However on this episode, I would like you to meet Adrian, UCN Student who comes from Romania, has been working in London for one year and decided to come to UCN, Aalborg! Watching the video you will get to know, what tips does Adrian have for you to find job and what does he think about working with Danes. Adrian is a bartender in a bar called “The Wharf” which is situated on Borgergade 16, just in the city center of Aalborg:)

We had lots of stress, but also fun with Adrian filming the video, hope you will like it anyways! Please give us some credit for it, that was our first time in front of the camera! Also excuse the lighting, that’s just the proof I was studying International Hospitality Management.

In Danish Weddings (Part One) we got hitched.  In Part Two, we started the party, with lots of kissing by all and sundry!

So, now, we’re busily tucking into our food.  Which, if it’s like 95% of the numerous Danish weddings I’ve been to, will be: a seafood or fish starter, beef or veal for the main course and chocolate cake/icecream for dessert.  In Jutland (the Danish mainland) the tradition is suppe, steg og is.  Soup, roast and icecream.  And – being Jutland - the serving staff will always come round with a second serving of the main course.  Hooray for that!

But don’t get too engrossed in the starter because – ching, ching, cough, cough – the Toastmaster has just announced the first in a very long line of speeches.  Oh, you thought there would only be three speeches: the Father of the Bride, the Best Man and the Groom?  Well, think again!  In Denmark, everyone can join in.  It could be a friend of the Bride, a former boss, Kirsten Giftekniv (the “Matchmaker”) who brought the Happy Couple together, an University chum, the Groom’s brother, the Best Man, colleagues…

Or all of the above – and more.  As happened at our wedding!

And, ladies, remember those hankies!  Because you’re about to discover that Danish men are actually incredibly romantic.  When the Groom gives his speech, he’ll start off – selvfølgelig – with a few funny anecdotes.  But towards the end the whole atmosphere of the room will change and you’ll be able to hear a pin drop.  He’ll turn to his Bride and solemnly declare “Jeg elsker dig!” (“I love you!”)  Sniff, sniff, not a dry eye in the house!

And, hey, let’s give some credit to the unsung hero of the wedding party – the Toastmaster.  He really has his work cut out for him – working out an order of service, communicating with the kitchen staff (“Hold the roast pork, Moster Gerda is up next!”) and the keyboard player/DJ (“Stop the music, Bedstefar Ole wants to bring a toast!”) . 

No Danish wedding without a Toastmaster!

Phew – what a line up!  And - wait a minute - our Toastmaster also needs to fit in all those songs, specially written by the guests for the occasion…

More about those next time!

Diane

Amulya Malladi is a talented Indian-Danish author of five books published by the Random House Publishing Group in the US and translated into German, Spanish, Danish, Dutch, Romanian, Serbian and other languages. A Copenhagen resident, Malladi moved here from US after marrying her Danish husband around six years ago. When the local media kept writing about her novels published in other countries, she decided to set a novel in Denmark. And taking Danish language classes helped her in penning down The Sound of Language.

She met many refugees there and became curious as to how they lived in Denmark. “I am an immigrant and I can go back to my home country whenever I want with no real repercussions. Most refugees can’t go back home – home is a war ruin and they yearn for it in a different way than I do. Also, Denmark is a difficult country for immigrants. If I found it hard with a Danish husband, a family network, education and employment, I wondered how a refugee, with none of my advantages, felt,” she says.

She has focused on immigrants in three of her books but mostly dealt with such issues The Sound of Language. “One of my editors said to me that I write about women trying to find their place in society – which for the most part is true. I write to answer questions. What happens when? And then I get curious and want to find out. What happens when a Danish man becomes friends with an Afghan refugee in the ass end of Denmark? How do they become friends? What happens next? I really thought I was writing a love story but my characters stubbornly refused to fall in love,” adds Malladi.

So how does she find life in Denmark? “After having been an immigrant in the United States, where I was accepted with open arms, Denmark was a bit of a rude shock and here I was feeling entirely legitimate because I was married to a Dane. I think Europe, in general, is somehow stuck at some strange place where you still have politicians like Angela Merkel say that the melting pot experiment didn’t work in Germany – like we have a choice in the day and age we live in today. The melting pot is everywhere, from our Facebook profiles to LinkedIn to television. Unless you’re living under a stone or live in a country where YouTube, Facebook et cetera is banned, you are part of the global mindset, might as well get used to it. I have trouble understanding the Danish resistance to ‘foreigners’. The notion that everyone who comes here must become Danish is ridiculous. A Dane once said to me, ‘If you become Danish after you come here, I can’t learn anything from you. I can learn from diversity, so please don’t become Danish’. I think there are plenty of Danes who do appreciate diversity but there is a communication gap. I have had Danes say things like, ‘Not a foreigner like you but…’ It’s a matter of being open and I don’t think Danes have much of a choice as they are part of the global economy – and now with Danske Folkeparti not running the country and poisoning the people with their insane anti-everything rhetoric, I think things are moving in the right direction,” tells Malladi.

She used to feel like a tourist initially but not anymore. “I now have a Danish passport, I vote and participate in this society. I realized, though it took a while, that the choice was mine and not Pia Kjærsgaard’s or Søren Karup’s whether I feel this is my country or not. All in all, I am a citizen of the world, but Denmark is home and in some ways, I am as Danish as most Danes – I’m also Indian in some ways and American in others…and I feel at home wherever I go. It’s a good feeling. I’m very fortunate,” says Malladi.

Do immigrants need to take the first step in a new country to adjust and adapt? “Absolutely. But we also need to be welcomed. Why is it that in the US, no one thinks twice about someone’s accent when they speak English but in Denmark, they immediately launch into a discussion about your Danish accent? Why do some Danish companies like to hire Danes and don’t appreciate diversity? I think the sword swings both ways so to speak. I can feel the difference of working in a company where being Danish was a qualification in itself and now working for a company where my nationality is not relevant but the work I do is and how I fit in with the corporate culture, is. Immigrants need to embrace – and that’s why it works well in the US. We embrace and we’re hugged right back,” she says.

Malladi thinks Denmark and Europe are going through a transition of accepting diversity.

“I know Europe likes to talk about how old the continent is and how young the US is. But if you look at democracy, Americans have been dealing with democracy for much longer than most European countries. Americans have been able to vote in elections in the United States since 1789; while democracy came to Denmark and France in the late 1800s and in England in 1918. In 1920, King Christian X in Denmark actually used his reserve power to dismiss Prime Minister Carl Theodor Zahle’s cabinet which resulted in the Easter Crisis of 1920. Since then Danish monarchs have stayed out of politics but it was less than one hundred years ago that royalty still had immense power in Denmark. Democracy is more than just the right to vote, it’s about giving everyone, even the minorities a voice. The US is comfortable with this (despite the many immigrant issues) because they have been doing this for a while in one way or the other. In Europe, democracy is still young and the voice of minority is still seen as dissension. So Denmark is growing up as a democracy and as it grows, the country will start to accept diversity better. And we’re well on our way,” opines the mother of two boys.

So does being a mother influence her work in some way? “I had more time to write before I had my babies. I think it’s more about integrating my work life as a product manager at a medical device company, the family, me and the writer in me. I don’t have loads of time – I’ll be honest about that – but who does? A friend of mine was saying she didn’t know how I did it and I said if she could make time for handball in her busy schedule then I could make time for writing as well. It’s about prioritization. And I’m still learning how to juggle the many balls I have in the air – some balls drop sometimes – though I have never forgotten to pick up my kids at school…yet. But my babies are now 11 and eight, so it’s also easy – they don’t need constant attention and usually hang around me when they need to be fed. I also have a very generous husband who ensures that if I need to write through a weekend, then I have that time. For a while there I couldn’t find the time to write, the day job was consuming all my energy and I was having fun with it, but I’m getting back on the saddle and my agent is reading two manuscripts right now, one for middle grade children set in mythological India and a book about surrogate mothers. Hopefully, sooner than later, these books will find their way to my readers,” feels the author.

(See Amulya’s Books here)

Before I first entered the small Krishnahuset near Aarhus harbor, I had heard the stereotypical tips about mingling with Danes from several internationals. The most effective one was said to be meeting them at bars and pubs. While it is largely true, I found out later that there are exceptions too. The biggest exception though would be followers of the Hare Krishna movement.

There are two International Society for Krishna Consciousness (ISKCON) temples in Denmark — a big one in Copenhagen and a small one in Aarhus. These are places where everyone – with a pure heart and willingness to seek the spiritual path – is welcome. To an international student like me, this cozy house in Aarhus offers solace in times of anxiety, loneliness and helps me get that ‘hyggeligt’ feeling of belongingness.

Ironically, it was only for the first time in Denmark that I got so up-close and personal with this world-famous movement. Back home in India, I had only seen and read in the media about the Beatles, Madonna and Julia Roberts’ common love for Hinduism, spirituality, yoga and traditional wisdom. But I was always too busy with family, studies and career to bother much about their collective fascination for one of the world’s oldest religions. The encounters in Aarhus helped me not just reconnect with my ancient heritage but also helped me find a deeper meaning of life and the importance of looking inwards to fill an imperfect human life with some spiritual balance.

After hours of chanting Hare Rama, Hare Krishna, I always feel uplifted. It is followed by spiritual discussions and then devotees are served with delicious vegetarian prasadam (food made in the trademark ISKCON-style without using onions and garlic). Often, it is a big feast and a far-cry from the crisis Indian vegetarians can face in Denmark, where most dishes essentially have meat. The smiling and friendly bhakts (devotees) serve everyone lovingly and always ask if something more is needed — a way of service to Krishna.

The feast has a lot of items like rice, two to three subzis, lentil curry, salad, and desserts – all simply delicious; prepared and served with a lot of devotion by Balarama Dasa, Benjamin Rix Bekkilde, Krishna Karuna Dasa, Ananta Sri Dasa and other devotees. The food varies but the feelings don’t.

These have definitely become some of my best memories in Denmark so far.

Krishnahuset in Aarhus opened up in its current place on July 8, 2011, following a big Rath Yatra (chariot drive) on Aarhus streets.

“Long time no see”, or so they say. From my graduation in january I did not mention much about that, but it is just because of lack of time. 

And.. it happened –  after 3,5 years in UCN I recieved my diploma. I graduated with bachelor degree in International Hospitality Managemnet. It’s over! UCN experience has finished for me, at least in the point of education. BUT, no worries, you’ll be seeing me around, reading propably more posts on this site.  If you ask me about the graduation ceremony, well, I must say I liked the AP one MUCH more. On the bachelor one, we only recieved diplomas, lunch, little chat with the teachers and good bye. Not too much effort in comparison to AP graduation. Hopefully yours will be better!:)

Now that we’ve said “Ja!” (Yes!) to each other and are officially married, what next?  Well, let’s get the party started, selvfølgelig!

Danish weddings involve lots and lots (and lots) of kissing.  You’ll need to keep your wits about you!

Keep your ears open:

Ching, ching!  Ching, ching, ching!   Someone starts tapping a knife on their wine glass or plate.  Then everyone joins in.  Ching, ching, ching, ching, ching, ching, ching, ching, chiiiiiiiiiing!  And you don’t stop making the noise until the Happy Couple get out of their seats, stand up on their chairs, carefully reach out towards one another (careful, mind you don’t fall!) and kiss.   Mwa!  And skål! (Cheers!)

Repeat at random.  Over.  And over.

Keep your eyes open:

You also need to keep your eye firmly fixed on the Bride and Groom.  If, at any point, the Groom leaves the room to go wee-wee, then it’s open season on the Bride!

The men dash over to her, and queue up to give her a kiss.

Given that we are in liberal Denmark and there is full equality, the opposite applies selvfølgelig if the Bride leaves the room.  Then all the ladies have a chance to go smooch the Groom.  You might want to make sure that the Bride and Groom are drinking plenty of water, so they’ll need to leave the room often.  Otherwise you’ll just have to lure them out under false pretences.  Perfectly acceptable!

Join me next time for the next round of Danish Wedding traditions!

Diane

Students stages their photos in the hall of the Rådhus

As Friday is already taken for the Friday Bars, and Saturday is booked for the Eurovision -where probably Denmark will win – , this Wednesday, tomorrow, we invite you to our Photography Exhibition Inauguration at Rådhus, from 16 til 18.

What is Mundus? Mundus refers to the Erasmus Mundus Master degree in Journalism, Media and Globalization. As the Master is taught in English, students applies from all over the world. The result: this year, 44 countries have been rapresented.
Some of the students decided to participate to the challenging Photojournalism workshop taught by Imal Ashimi, Afghani photojournalist, currently enrolled at DMJX. From January il mid March, we covered both theoretical and practical issues on photography, dealing with skills to develop and subject to find for our final photo journalism story.

The main theme of our exhibition is Denmark: some of us, in fact, have never visited the country before moving to start the Master. Most of us decided to portray what striked us most at its first sight. It can be Kapsejlads, the diversity of food, or the sea. It can be something really normal in the eyes of a Dane, some small details that is part of traditional daily life, but that, from a foreign and far aways eyes seems incredible, yet incomprehensible.
In the exhibition as well, a Dane : Emilie Luckman ( one of the three danish students taking part in this MA degree) spent some of her nights googleing around Aarhus, to look on what the city is like when it sleeps.

On Wednesday 15th, at kl. 16 there will be a small reception and speech from the authorities, but the exhibition will go on til the 29th of May, during the opening time of the Rådhus.

Come by if you are interested in seeing young journalism students photo stories, or if you simply want a cookie.

Danish wedding anno 1975

Now, unfortunately, statistics say that over 40% of Danish marriages are doomed to end in divorce.  But, hey, many Danes go on to remarry – so let’s look on the bright side…even more weddings!

So where does it all start?  Well, you can either get married in the Danish church (which also, by the way, performs same-sex marriages – halleluja! – an idea supported by a large majority of Danes) or at a civil cermony (usually at your local town hall, but can also be your back garden or at a hotel).  And you can - selvfølgelig – also choose to go the whole hog and do both!

The ceremony itself is short and sweet.  Forget all those toe-curling Hollywood film scenes where the bride and groom bumble through their marriage vows…  There are no lines to learn!  Those practical Danes get straight to the point.  The priest or mayor will give a little speech then ask you two questions: 

• Do you take Morten/Christina to be your husband/wife?
• Will you love and cherish him/her until death do you part?

.

And if you reply “Ja” (Yes) to both questions, you’re married – simple as that!

Oh, and don’t be surprised if the flower girls or ushers turn out to be the bride and groom’s own kids.  It’s very common for the Danes to get married after they have kids, not before.  Sometimes they even kill two birds with one stone and have a joint wedding/baby christening…

Join me next time when we’ll be getting ready to celebrate!

Diane